work, career, jobs

Michelle asks: Do you plan on going back to school at all? What would your ideal career be besides a stay at home mother?


Answer:  hmmmph.  In theory I plan to go back to school this fall.  We'll see.  I need to find some time away from the kids so I can go to the campus and register, then once the semester approaches I'll have to re-evaluate our situation and see if taking a class is something I have time to do. 

I've always struggled with 'what I want to be when I grow up'.  Nothing ever stood out to me.  No real passions in any field.  This is why I didn't bother going to a big University or College.  I didn't want to waste my time and money by taking - what???  I don't even know what major I would have ended up in.  In 9th grade I HAD to choose a "shop" (or leave Hodgson).  I went with Technical Drafting.  I didn't love it or hate it.  From there I got a job and went to community college part-time to take up a field related to what I did in high school.  I mainly chose Architectural Engineering (instead of a different related field) because it sounded the coolest.   I consider myself lucky to have been handed a job right out of high school.  Had that not happened I wonder if I wouldn't have ended up working at Kmart announcing the blue light special for a living. 
But back to the question.  I think my ideal job right now would be a sign language interpreter.  But who knows....once I get into it I might decide it's not for me.
I figure I could either land a job in a school working while my kids are in school, or I can be more of an "on call" interpreter working randomly throughout the day and when I'm available in the evenings. 
I have a lot of work ahead of me before I come anywhere close to being an interpreter....so we'll see what happens. 

work

Anonymous Asks: Are you still working part time at the craft store? Do you plan to work full time again?

Answer: Yes, I am still working part-time at the craft store.  I am also working part time at my old job, temporarily.  I plan to work full time again someday, but not anytime soon.

about that job....

Remember when I said I quit my old job?  Well, I got a new one!  I applied to a local craft store chain and got the job within days.  Yesterday was a 5 hour long orientation.  Basically the new hires and I (4 total) sat in a room and filled out paperwork and listened to the manager talk for 4 hours.  We spent the last hour getting a partial tour of the store and then putting some stuff away (which they call "recovery").  I will be calling the manager later today to get my schedule for the next two weeks.  The pay is terrible, but I get a decent discount on craft supplies, which is awesome! 

It will be a new and different experience for me - I haven't worked retail in a very long time, and back then I was only a kid who didn't care about work.  I still don't really care abotu work, but I have a better understanding of people in general and what it is to be a professional.  Most imporatantly, I think, is that I know what it is to be a customer in this store, so I can better relate to the people shopping there. 

Honestly thoiugh, I'm having a hard time puttign my pride aside. This job is a step backwards......several, several steps backwards. I'm a little embarassed to tell people where I work. I know I shouldn't be....but I am.  I think if the pay was better I would be way more enthusiastic about it, but as it stands, I'm not making much more now than I did at my first job when I was 15 years old working as a cashier at Pat's Pizza.



I'm still hoping to get an interview at a few different places - places that pay better - but who knows, maybe I'll love it at this store.  Maybe I'll shock myself and realize I don't want to sit at a desk in front of a computer like I did for the last 10 years.  In the end, all that REALLY matters is that I get to spend more time with my children than I would if I went back full time, and I no longer have to send them to a in-home daycare where they sat in a tiny room watching tv all day.  They didn't go outside hardly at all, they didn't do many crafts, they didn't experience thigns and go on outings.  Since I've been on maternity leave we've been outside almost every day, pklaying and learning and doing fun thigns.  I've taken them to museums and parks and play-places and friends houses and zoos and farms and factories.....the list goes on and on - and it will continue to grow (so long as my new job doesn't bankrupt us [the irony]).

Happy Crafting everyone!

spell check isn't workign  <~~~

big changes

There are lots of big changes coming our way....

If you follow my blog and/or know me personally, then you know that I plan to return to work in September.  That leaves me with one full month left on maternity leave.  Well, I decided a while ago that I probably wouldn't be going back.  You see, I love being home with Trent and Claire so much - more than I ever thought I would - that I can't imagine taking them to some lame daycare facility every day.  Of course saying I'm not going back  to my full-time job is easier said than done.  Losing a good job with good people and good benefits and good career growth isn't an easy thing.  I thought long and I thought hard about it and in the end I decided I'd rather see T & C smile and play and scream and cry than lose this time I have with them.  I spoke with my boss today and informed him of my decision.  I wanted to tell him before I put it on my blog because I didn't want him to hear it from anyone but me.  Being a father of 5 sons he completely understands  where I was coming from.  We promised each other that he'd call me if they ever got so busy that they needed me 2nd shift (which would be my ideal situation), and I'd call him first if I ever decide to get back into that field. 

Last week I called daycare to let her know Trent would not be returning and that Claire wouldn't be joining her.  She didn't take the news all that well.  Trent and Claire are 2 paychecks she was relying on - now she has to find 2 other paychecks, i mean kids.  Whatever.  She should be grateful I gave her 6 weeks notice.

Now I am officially unemployed.  I'm kinda relying on my mom to get me a job where she works, but there are no guarantees.  I've pretty much put all my eggs in that one basket, and if that lead falls through I really don't know where I will try to get a job - I'm pretty picky (which I know I shouldn't be).  I have one month to line something up.  Wish me luck!

Save My Spot

Welp, I talked to my big boss earlier this week and warned him that I plan to take five months off work for maternity leave!!  I haven't mention this on my blog (or to anyone other than Kevin and one friend) for 2 reasons.  One, I didn't want to risk word spreading and my coworkers learning of my intentions before I had to chance to talk to my boss.  And two, I didn't wan to jinx myself - which I obviously could be doing right this instant. 

If I end up having the baby early my plans will change - maternity leave will be cut short - but as of right now the plan is for me to have the baby right on schedule and take 5 months off work!! 

The boss seemed to take the new fine.  I think I took him by surprise if nothing else.  I opened our conversation with "I want to give you as much notice as possible...".  He probably thought I was going to say I wouldn't be returning to work after I have the baby.  But who knows.  Our company is slow right now so my being gone might be a good thing for them. 

start of maternity leave

Anonymous asks: Do you plan to work up until your due date? If so, Have you considered stopping work a lil early to spend your last week with Trent as an only child?

Answer:  As of right now I plan to work right up until my due date.  I have considered stopping work early but as of right now I do not plan to do that.  I'm thinking I won't work past my due date, so if March 29th rolls around and I am still pregnant I will probably stay home with Trent until I do go into labor (or am induced, whichever comes first). 

maternity leave #2 length

Anonymous asks: Do you think that you will be able to take 4 mos. Maternity leave this time around? Also, is there any way that you could work from home to stay out longer?

Answer: We plan for me to take as long of a maternity leave as humanly possible. Realistically, however, it's looking like it will only be 3 months long. Anything longer than 3 months and I have to start paying for my monthly health insurance myself, which was $550 per month a year ago (it may have increased since then?!). So, as of right now we're planning on nothing less than 3 months, but hoping for as long as possible. We won't know exactly how long we will be able to afford until after the new year. I will be sure to update everyone when the time gets closer.

As for working from home. The job I do CAN be done from home. It would take some coordinating and I might have to stop into work on occassion for 5 minutes, but it is do-able. The downer is that the owners of my particular company are totally against it. It sucks.

guess what Mr. Boss Man....

Alicia Asks: How did breaking the news about BBJ at work go?

Answer: As far as I could tell, it went well. I told my head boss early on so that he knew why I was missing time from work. I told him via email and he responded that his lips were sealed. We didn't really discuss it. My immediate boss was very happy for me/us! These gentlemen have 5 and 4 kids of their own (respectively), so they have a family mindset in addition to the business mindset. The rest of my coworkers....well, most of them said the standard "congrats".

How my bosses really feel is anyone's guess. What they talk about (concerning my pregnancy) behind closed doors is unknown to me.

In January I plan to sit down and talk to my big boss about maternity leave. With the poor economy and with me taking two maternity leaves so close together they may or may not treat this maternity leave the same way they treated the last one (as far as pay and holding my position). I can only hope they will keep everything exactly the same.

with only 4 months left....

Anonymous Asks: what are your plans as far as child care with baby #2? do you plan to continue to work full time and put both children in daycare or will you decide to stay home or will you work part time? if you plan to continue to work full time, will the new baby go to the same child care as Trent? also, while you are on maternity leave will you continue to take your son to day care or have him stay home with you and the new baby? also, what ways are you preparing Trent for the new baby? do you think he understands the "baby brother" "baby sister" concept?

Answer: As of right now:

~ I will continue to work full time and have both kids in daycare.

~ Baby #2 will go to the same daycare as Trent.

~ I'm not 100% sure what we're going to do with Trent when I am on maternity leave. On one hand, if we send him to daycare everyday that will give me a great opportunity to bond with the new baby and focus 100% on the baby. Not to mention daycare may not hold his spot if I pull him out for 3-ish months. That is something I have yet to talk to his daycare provider about. On the other hand, if Trent stays home with the baby and I, it will give Trent time to really adjust and bond with the baby. It will also save us a ton of money. On yet another hand, keeping Trent home for 3 months then sending him back to daycare may be a hard adjustment on Trent (from both standpoints: pulling him out. sending him back). And on a 4th hand, will I actually wake up each and every morning and actually drive my son to daycare when I have a 1, 2, 3+ week old in tow?

~ So far we have done very very little to prepare Trent for the new baby. Occasionally I will say "baby" when he's looking at my tummy with that "time ease up on the donuts mom" look on his face. From the beginning we've been trying to teach Trent was "gentle" means when it comes to our dog, and I think that might help for when the baby arrives. When I was putting together the new crib and Trent was in the room with me, I was telling him how this crib was for his future sibling, etc. But really, I don't think he understands what any of it means. Some parents will use a babydoll as a training tool before they have a newborn, but I just think he's too young right now - maybe I am underestimating Trent all together. If anyone (Chrissy) has any advice on this subject, please let me know.

working out with work

1) do you work out during your pregnancy? With pregnancy #1, no. Shortly after I found out I was pregnant I canceled my gym membership (because of the pregnancy and also because we were moving and I wouldn't continue going to that gym anyway). I had morning sickness pretty bad for the first 4 months and never felt good enough to actually work out. Once I started feeling better, I was out of shape, therefore did not go back to working out. I regret not being more active.

With this pregnancy, not yet. I had a hard time getting back into a work-out routine after having my son. There just never seemed to be enough time to work out in between working full time and bonding with child. This continues to be the case. I really hope I will walk more and maybe do some yoga, or something, throughout this pregnancy. I know it will only benefit us! I would love to join a gym that offered aerobic classes on the weekends, but it just doesn't make sense financially to pay a monthly fee when I only go 8 times a month (that's assuming I go both days on the weekends). This is one of the million ways winning the lottery would come in handy.

2) have you made a decision on whether or not you will stay at your current job, work part time, or stay home completely? how does one come to making this decision? (i ask because my husband and i trying to figure out what i will do once we begin having children.) I have partly made a decision. No, i will not stay at home completely (financially impossible for us). Yes, I will stay at my current job. Whether I go part-time or continue to work full-time will depend on daycare costs. With the kids going to daycare full time I will have to work full time. If daycare has part-time openings when the time comes we will have to crunch some numbers. Currently I do not know what the part-time rate is at daycare. This is something we will look into more as the pregnancy progresses. I personally do not think I could be a full-time stay at home mom, even if my husband made enough to comfortably support us. I personally have a need to contribute financially, and I enjoy getting away and having adult interaction.

Then there's the daycare experience. While I do not love every aspect of daycare, I could not imagine taking Trent out of it all together. We feel that he is benefiting from it in so many ways.

1 Pump

With pregnancy comes dreaded morning sickness! For most women the two go together like PB&J (really really fowl PB&J). With Trent, my MS (morning sickness) was all day long and it lasted until I was 4 months along. This time around, knock on wood, it's not as bad. I still feel nauseous everyday but it's mostly just until noon-ish and I'm lucky enough to not be throwing up daily. Of course I am more tired than normal - I find myself going to bed shortly after Trent falls asleep (around 8pm) - and housework has taken a back seat (ok, ok, you're right, housework took a back seat when I was pregnant with Trent and it's been in the backseat ever since. Thanks for calling me out) but we're managing just fine. I made sure Kevin realized I would be a zombie for a while before we got ourselves into this mess!



I honestly consider myself lucky to have it this easy...and boy am I thankful. I don't know how moms who are constantly getting sick do it when they have another kid to care for!!!!

Of course dealing with MS is the worst while I'm at work. I think it's a combination of me praying I don't get sick at work, trying to keep the pregnancy a secret, dealing with exhaustion, trying to constantly eat, and the fact that work is slow - so basically I am thinking about how crappy I feel all day long, which makes me feel even crappier (I'd probably feel pretty good if it wasn't on my mind all the time). Which brings me to the purpose of this post: my pumping routine! I know this may sound strange, but pumping really does take a lot out of a person (ba dum bum), not to mention it's inconvenient and boring! So if you're not feeling 100% in the first place, it's the last thing you want to do! Because of this, I decided a couple weeks ago to drop down to just 1 pump a day. I now pump during my lunch break after I eat (which is when I start feeling better). Pumping once a day gives me about 9 ounces of milk. Trent needs 12 for daycare, so I thaw some frozen breastmilk every night. It's kind of exciting to actually use up the frozen milk! If I thaw 1 bottles worth of milk every weekday I will have enough to get Trent through the next couple months.



I'll blog more about how this pregnancy will effect breastfeeding in a separate entry. I'm sure you are all on the edge of your seat with anticipation.

disappointed

The following is something we haven't shared with many people.

I've been back to working full-time for over 4 months now. I've tossed around the idea of going part-time ever since the beginning, but for one reason or another I've continued to work full-time (I have had my reasons). Recently, however, I've been leaning more and more towards becoming a part-time employee. So much so that I started taking the necessary steps to make it happen.

First I talked to daycare. She has no part-time spots available, which means we will continue to pay full-time rate. good to know.

Then I talked to the payroll lady here at work. I found out what my paychecks would look like if I cut back to 24 hours a week.

Next I crunched the numbers. Do-able.

On Monday I took off work and kept Trent home from daycare. We had such a fantastic day together!! Our day together confirmed for me that working part-time was something I wanted to make happen.


So, on Tuesday I had Kevin call the HR guy for his employer to find out what it will take to add me to his medical insurance. This is where my disappointment begins: I can't join until November....and even then it doesn't go into effect until December!! That's 5 months from now. I can not take that risk. I'll probably need insurance the second I don't have it.


Today I contacted our benefits people (my current insurance people) to find out if I could reduce my hours AT ALL and still keep my insurance. I honestly thought she would tell me I could work a minimum of 36 hours and still be covered (4 less hours of work is better than nothing), but of course she tells me I have to work 40 to be covered. What bull crap!

Now I feel like I'm forced for work full-time for at least the next 5 months and I'm even more miserable about it than ever. Since I've already gone 4 months here, you might be asking yourself "hey, what's another 5 months?". Five months at this age is huge. It's crawling. It's walking. It's talking. It's bonding time.

It's 10 o'clock. I have to go pump now. Excuse me.

a day in the life of a pumper

Some of you might wonder how long I plan to breastfeed Trent, but you might not want to ask. Some of you probably had no idea I am breastfeeding at all. Others might wonder how working full time and breastfeeding is possible. If you're curious, keep reading. If you really don't care, skip this entry :-)

On breast pumps: Let me start by saying that most working moms require a breast pump if they want to continue breastfeeding. There are many different manufacturers, styles, etc. Most full-time working moms need an electric pump. A manual pump requires more of your time, so its good for SAHM (stay at home moms) and maybe part-timers. Electric pumps are not cheap! This is the breast pump I own. I was able to combine 3 coupons and get the pump for 40% off!!!! What a steal. Anyways, that's what I lug back and forth to work everyday. More on pumping at work later.

On Pumping in general & freezer stashes: When I was on maternity leave I would pump (breast milk) randomly. I'd usually do it before we went out so that I would have a bottle for Trent if he got hungry. Other times I would do it to build a freezer stash. A freezer stash is not something every breastfeeding mother needs, but it comes in handy from time to time. Alot of women build a freezer stash so that they can leave the baby with a sitter for a few hours and not have to rush home to breastfeed. If you have to go on a medication that makes it unsafe to breastfeed, you can dip into your freezer stash and use that milk. Some women have a high milk supply and have to pump just so they are comfortable and pain-free. Rather than dump the milk down the drain, they freeze it. It is also nice to mix thawed breast milk with rice cereal when the time comes. Sometimes I would pump during the day so that Kevin could give Trent a bottle of breast milk in the middle of the night when he woke up (Kevin was a gem!!! He would always let me sleep if I wanted to). Whatever milk I pumped usually got drank, but occasionally I would bag it and put in the freezer. "They" (again, who is they?) also say its good to have a freezer stash for when you return to work...but in reality all you need is 12oz to get through that first day (after that you pump at work and send that milk to daycare the next day).

Towards the end of my maternity leave I hardly pumped at all - I just didn't need to and I didn't want to. At this point I had maybe 50 ounces of frozen breast milk in the freezer. Since I wasn't pumping, if Trent got hungry while we were out and I wasn't comfortable breastfeeding, we'd give him formula. Or if he woke in the middle of the night and I wanted to sleep, Kevin would give him formula. We've never been anti-formula at all (and I hope I'm not coming across as some kind of anti-formula-nipple-nazi). It's much easier to make a quick bottle of formula than to thaw some frozen breast milk under hot water - especially in the middle of the night while holding a screaming baby.

On pumping at work: I pump 3 times a day at work. I pump for 10 minutes during my breaks at 10am & 3pm, and I pump for 20-ish minutes at noon during my lunch break. I thought I'd hate pumping at work and dread it everyday, but it really doesn't bother me much. Sometimes its like a game to see if I can pump more today than I did yesterday. And you have no idea how excited I get what I break my own records (easily amused!). Of course I have those days when I just don't feel like pumping at all, so maybe Ill skip a pump - and that's ok (as mentioned in a in a previous post). At 10:00 I take the pump to my "pump room", connect the bottles to the pump stuff, pump for 10 minutes, clean the pump parts, then put the milk in a cooler and put it in our company fridge. At 12 and 3 I have to get the cooler from the fridge and start the whole process again. After my 3:00 pump I don't bother cleaning the pump parts; I just throw them in a plastic bag and wash them when I get home. I have a few different options when it comes to cleaning my pump parts at work:

- I could wash everything in the lunch room sink with warm soapy water after each pump session (too time consuming and could be embarrassing)
- I could buy 2 more sets of pump parts and just wash all 3 sets at home at night (again, too time consuming)
- I could use special wipes designed for cleaning pump parts (this is what I currently do)
- I could buy a mini fridge and put my pump parts and milk in there after each pump session without having to wash anything during the day (mini fridges are expensive)

The last option would be ideal, as it would save time and money (those wipes aren't cheap), but I really don't want to buy a mini fridge just for breast milk. The wipes method works just fine.


On Storing Breast milk: Breast milk can be stored in a refrigerator for up to a week. Above I mentioned I could put my pump parts in refrigerator between pumping sessions without having to wash them - and that's why. The milk drops that would be left on my pump parts would still be fresh refrigerated milk, so it wouldn't matter if it got mixed in with milk from a few hours later. Am I making sense? I'm not sure how to explain it better.

Breast milk that is frozen in a standard freezer is good for 3-4 months.
I had frozen milk dated back to December - from when I was on maternity leave. Since that milk had to be used by March/April, when I returned to work I would thaw 4 or 8 ounces every night and send 1 or 2 bottles of thawed breast milk to daycare, along with 1 bottle of fresh breast milk. In the beginning, Trent was only eating 12 ounces of milk at daycare....but at work I was pumping double that. There were nights where Id be adding 16 or more ounces to my freezer stash. Not because I wanted to necessarily, but because I certainly wasn't going to pour it down the drain(!!!) so freezing it was my only other option. I ended up putting much more in than I was taking out, so my freezer stash began to grow quickly. By April Trent was eating more at daycare (18 oz) so things have really slowed down...now there are nights where I dont put any milk in the freezer at all. Last night, out of curiosity, I counted how much I have in the freezer. I have just over 238 ounces of frozen breast milk!! The kicker is that I have to use most of it by August at the very latest, or else its trash. One of my biggest fears right now is that we'll have a power outage and all that milk will get ruined!! Once its thawed it can not be refrozen.

To many women, 238 ounces is alot and they would kill for that much - but 238 is nothing compared to some other pumpers. I know mothers who have 500+ ounces in their freezer....I even read about a couple moms who have thousands!!

I should probably mention something else...Before you freeze breast milk you typically pour the milk into a bag that is designed for the freezing of breast milk. Each bag has a spot for you to write the date and the amount of milk in the bag. That's how I know when to use certain bags by - and that's what made it easy to add up all the ounces.

for more on breast milk storage click here

On Breastfeeding Trent: Initially, I planned to breastfeed for 6 months, making my stop-date mid-May. I had no reason for choosing 6 months, I just got that time frame in my head and stuck with it.

When I decide to stop, I won't do it cold-turkey - I'll want to wean. I will start by eliminating one pump session each week. After 3 weeks I will only be breastfeeding in the mornings and in the evenings....I'll eliminate one of those feedings and in place of the breast, Trent will get a bottle (of thawed breast milk until its gone, then formula). Eventually he will been weaned 100% from the breast.

Right now I really don't know when I will stop breastfeeding. I am open to the idea of going past 6 months, and I really cant think of any reason to stop at the 6 month mark, so who knows how long I'll go. The AAFP recommends breastfeeding well beyond a child's first birthday but I don't know that I will. I like the idea of possibly doing it until Trent turns 1, that way I can switch him right over to cows milk (hopefully in a sippy cup) and not have to worry about bottles much (if at all??). But who knows, I might decide before his first birthday that its time to quit...maybe he will bite me and scar me (psychologically and physically) for life. Maybe I will get sick of pumping at work and decide to quit. I don't want to set too high an expectation for myself. Right now I'm just hoping to make to the 6 month mark, then take it day by day. I currently enjoy the convenience of breastfeeding, as well as the bonding time & the health benefits it provides for Trent and myself, so I see no reason to stop right now.

The decision to breastfeed or not is one every mother has to make. There is no right or wrong answer. The decision to stop breastfeeding should be based on whats best for mother and baby. When will I stop? Stay tuned....I'll blog about it.



What am I looking forward to the most about NOT breastfeeding: wearing a normal bra again (with underwire). Not these wire-less things with cups that fold down in the front and offer very little support. Don't even get me started on the woman they chose to model this bra....she's obviously not a mother (haha).

Oscar, is that you?

A little back story about me. I work for a consulting engineering firm. We do electrical, mechanical (HVAC) & plumbing design for local commercial buildings. We do alot of schools, MBNA, Gore, office buildings - you get the picture. I work under an electrical engineer doing computer drafting & some design. I can layout receptacles, lights, size conduits and equipment, etc. The more complicated stuff is left to the engineer to figure out. Anyway, I draw these things on the computer and we print them out for the contractors. Back in the day these prints were called Blue Prints. When we get a new job, one of the first things we do is go out to the job site and document the existing conditions - we call this Surveying. I actually helped design the electrical work for our new local YMCA and Kevin ended up being the electrician on the job.

a side note: I pump my breastmilk 3 times a day at work, everyday. This milk is sent to daycare the following day for Trent to eat. It's ok to miss a pump here and there, just so long as you aren't too consistent about it - as your body will start to produce less milk.

Ok, here's the story. A few weeks ago my boss asked if I would go on a survey with him up in NJ. He informed me we would be gone all day. I knew my supply (milk supply) would be ok if I went 8 hours without pumping, but I also knew my breasts would become very full by the end of the day, and in turn I would become very uncomfortable - so I brought my pump with me. Everyone I work with knows I pump (I don't know who thought my pumping would make for good gossip, but it got around quickly), and as you've probably figured out by now, i have no shame! So there I was with my tape measure, floor plans & pump. We were wrapping things up (around noon) when my boss said he needed to check out one more thing and that I should just wait for him. I took this opportunity to find the bathroom and pump. I looked on our floor plans and saw that there was a ladies room on the second floor. When I got upstairs I saw only 1 person on the entire floor. It was mostly just abandoned cubicle walls everywhere. So I finally track down what was supposed to be the ladies room, only to find that its actually a unisex bathroom. Inside I found one stall, one urinal, and one sink. No lock on the door. No outlet to plug the pump into. Do you see where this is going?? Fortunately, I thought ahead and brought 8 AA batteries. That's what it takes to power up the pump when you don't have an outlet to plug into. So I enter the stall, lock the stall door, crouch down on the dirty floor, get the batteries in place, etc etc...i start pumping - then creeeeeek. In walks the ONLY GUY on the entire second floor. And wouldn't you know it, he's on his cell phone talking away. I'm sitting there in a panic. What should I do?! Should I wait it out and hopes he leaves without noticing I'm there. Do I quick try to make a break for it and leave before he notices me? I thought he HAD to know I was there - my pump is kinda loud "eeeee rrrrrrrr eeeeee rrrrrr" - but maybe he didn't notice it since he was talking away on the phone. Well, I didn't know what to do so I started to pack everything up. I finally decided to flush the toilet just so he knew he wasn't alone (i didn't want him to do anything too embarrassing thinking he was alone [as if talking about the how drunk he got last night and the crack he did wasn't embarrassing enough]). I got no reaction out of him after I flushed the toilet but at least he knew someone was in there. I decided I was just going to wait for him to leave the bathroom then wait a minute and leave myself (hopefully unnoticed), when

"Hey Oscar, Is that you?"

He was now off the phone and talking me.

My heart skipped a beat. "umm, no. but Ill be out of here in a minute".

At this point I'm not sure who panicked more. He kept apologizing as he finished up at the urinal (eek) and washed his hands. Then he told me it was "safe to come out now". We both had a good laugh about the whole thing and made witty little remarks to try to lighten the mood.

Once out of the bathroom we parted ways in a hurry. I went back downstairs to wait for my boss for another 5 minutes or so - and he went who-knows-where. My boss finally came around and we headed out to the car. But guess who was also outside near the car. Yup - Urinal Guy. To make things even more awkward he puts his arm around me and told me I was a good sport. We made a few more jokes about the whole thing then said goodbye and left. In the car my boss asked me how I knew whats-his-name. I just said we ran into each other upstairs. Luckily I dont go to Jersey much.

take 2

Today is going much better than yesterday! Kevin took Trent to daycare this morning, which I think helped me tremendously. I came straight into work and have been trying to keep my mind off daycare as much as possible. Now it's lunch time and I havent cried once. I got teary eyed a couple times but kept it together. All of my coworkers have been very kind and understanding.

my first day back

My first day back to work didn't go so well. It was actually a disaster. I was totally fine until I gave Trent a kiss goodbye - that's when I started to lose it. I managed to keep it together until I was in my car on my way to work, then I completely lost it. I got to work and just couldn't keep it together. I ended up in the bathroom at work for about an hour and a half before deciding to just go home. I did, however, decide to leave Trent at daycare for the day. I hope that being home today with him will help with the transition into being a working mom. At least at home I can cry all I want. Kevin is going to take Trent to daycare tomorrow for me so that I wont have to hand Trent over to a stranger and kiss him goodbye again so soon. The fact that this is a short week also helps.

I really didn't think I would have this kind of reaction to taking Trent to daycare, but what can ya do?!?! I guess I just need time to adjust.

In other news, a couple weeks ago we took Maggie to the vet for her annual visit and to get more allergy medicine for her. While there the vet discovered a Mast Cell Tumor on her back leg. She said it was crucial we get the tumor removed ASAP and have it biopsied to find out if the tumor is stage 1, 2 or 3. We took her in last Monday for the surgery and everything went smoothly - Doc said the tumor came right off and Maggie did very well, but that we wouldn't know the results of the biopsy until next (this) week. In the mean time Maggie has been taking pain meds, antibiotics, anti inflammatory pills, and wearing that stupid satellite dish collar. Well, I got the call this morning that the tumor was a stage 1! Anything above that would have required further action (chemo, etc) but as it stands right now we don't have to do anything except keep our eye out for other tumors that may develop in the future. PHEW, what a relief!! I was so worried for her

first day of work

....turned into a snow day!!! I get one more day home with my baby boy!!!! If you are at work today please be safe!!!

last day of work

I almost didn't make it in today. I woke up early this morning feeling like crap!!! If it wasn't my last day I probably would have stayed home all together. Thankfully I'm starting to feel better now - Ive been drinking Ginger Ale and eating my saltine crackers all morning. Soon I plan to take some medicine.

So now I'm sitting here at my desk with nothing to do. I'm not sure if they aren't giving me work because they don't have work to give me (we're really slow at work right now) or because they figure I'm going to be slacking all day anyway (which is true). Probably a combo.

some coworkers want to take me out to lunch today - kind of a good-bye and good-luck kinda thing. I think its such a nice gesture, i just wish i felt better. I'm really in no condition to eat a real meal. I'll probably go and just pick at some food and enjoy one last nice lunch with the people I wont see again for 4 months. I'll feel rude if I don't go.

by the way:

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

This is our first Halloween at the new house and we're excited to hand out candy to all the neighborhood kids! We were lucky if we got a dozen trick-or-treaters at our old house but this neighborhood is FULL of kids. It should be fun! I'm thinking about getting a pedicure tomorrow maybe - my feet are in BAD shape. Then tomorrow night is the Halloween party!!!!!!

Outstanding 38 week appointment

Today I am approximately 38 weeks and 4 days pregnant and I had my 38 week doctors appointment.

here's the scoop:

• Weight - I'm up one lb, no biggie
• Blood pressure - normal
• baby is measuring 37 weeks. this is smaller than it maybe should be but the Dr said its completely normal and only because the head is so low at this point
• Baby's heartbeat sounds great

He then did an internal to check the progress of my cervix, etc.

• i am 2cm dilated
• 50% effaced
• baby's head is very low. Baby is now in station -1 (yay)
• only a portion of my mucus plug remains
• He could feel the head
• Dr said my cervix is "outstanding. especially considering this is my first pregnancy".
• Dr def gave me the impression he believes I will go into labor before or around my due date (of course the Dr cant say anything with any certainty - he's no psychic)

Because of my progress - and after discussing everything with Kevin - I decided this Friday will be my last day at work. Kevin wants me to be home where I am comfortable when labor begins, not at work or on the road. He also wants to be able to get to me quickly if need be (he only works 5-10 minutes away right now). I'll finish out the month at work then spend the remainder of my pregnancy relaxing and getting as much last minute sleep as i can.

Needless to say I am very happy with how the appointment went today. Things are progressing nicely! I have to check my calendar but I'm pretty sure my next appointment is Monday afternoon.

very exciting stuff!!!

generosity

my coworkers pitched in a got us a very generous gift card to babies r us! Im so grateful and surprised!!! I really didn't expect such a gift from work! It will really come in handy once the baby arrives. Im looking forward to buying gender-specific clothes and whatever else we need!

People just shock me sometimes.