the role of mommy, take 2

Alicia asks: Do you feel that you've fallen into the role easier than the first time around?

Answer: absolutely most definitely totally 100% yes.  It took me a while to get into a really good place when I first became a mom.  I had no idea what I was doing or what anything meant.  I stressed out and worried about most things and was constantly referring to books and websites to find out "how to" and "is ___ normal".  This time is totally different.  Having already gone through the process once I feel like an old pro.  Everything about caring for a newborn came right back to me, and this time around I know what not to stress about (yes I still stress about stuff, but not like last time).  Overall I find caring for Claire and Trent right now easier than caring for Trent alone when he was a newborn.  I think the biggest thing that's helping me this time is my sleep routine.  From day one I've been following a pretty strict sleep schedule.  With Trent I was very sleep deprived in the first couple of weeks, which made the stress of being a first time mom that much worse.  Lesson learned.

intimidation

Alicia Asks: What are you most intimidated by with having a second child? I know for me child birth was the scariest part of pregnancy with Jude, but now that's it's over I know it's 'really not that bad'. What were you most intimidated by while pregnant with Trent and how has that changed so far with your pregnancy with BBJ?

Answer: Part A is easy - I'm most intimidated by sleep deprivation once BBJ arrives. I didn't handle the up-every-2-or-3-hours situation very well with Trent and it will probably be even worse this time around. BBJ might wake up Trent - Trent might wake up BBJ.

With Trent, sleep deprivation + hormonal changes = a sobbing emotional mess named Barbie.

Of course this time might be different. I now know what to expect as far as breastfeeding. I won't let myself stress the way I did if BBJ has jaundice. In general I shouldn't as paranoid having a newborn in the house. Things could go much smoother. But we'll see.

Part B is harder to answer. I really don't remember what I was most intimidated by while I was pregnant with Trent. I know I found it difficult to be overly worried about most things (labor pains, caring for a newborn) because I had absolutely no idea what to expect. Maybe my answer should be childbirth - I was very worried I'd end up with a C-section. I knew/know C-sections are extremely common these days, and since I'm on my petite side of things I thought they'd toss me into the operating room if the baby didn't slide right out. I even had people tell me I had "c-section hips". Nice, huh?! This time around I am once again nervous that I will end up with a c-section. I know that since I already had one vaginal delivery my chances of a c-section are kinda low, but anything could happen. Bottom line is I do not want a c-section now, not when I didn't have one the first time.

Please keep the questions coming! It gives me stuff to blog about!

changing diapers

changing diapers is no longer easy. Now, the second I take his diaper off he flips onto his belly. I flip him back, but before I get a chance to get the diaper under his butt he's on his belly again. It's a diaper on a baby who is on his belly is an art I have no mastered yet - a fact that became apparent after pee leaked out of his not-tight-enough diaper right onto my pants. Gotta love it!

Mother of the Year

I'm so honored! Check out my video clip

http://news.cnnbcvideo.com/?nid=f2AckiUe96juu_WpaIiuxDE0OTUzMDAx&referred_by=17251836-NuUh2px

so cute

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread

Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She's up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I've grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo

The shopping's not done and there's nothing for stew
And out in the yard there's a hullabaloo
But I'm playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren't his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

~possibly by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

I hate that I can be so dramatic....

I might breast feed Trent until he is 27 if for no other reason than to get out of jury duty. When I was pregnant I read somewhere that you can get out of jury duty if you are breast feeding....so when I got a jury duty summons in the mail back in March I searched the form for the "check here if you are breastfeeding and you will be exempt" box. Unfortunately, there was no such option. Immediately the most dramatic scenario ran through my mind:

• I walk up to the courthouse, breast pump in hand, and the security guards won't let me through the metal detectors with my pump. Being the emotional wreck I am, I burst into tears and am forced to put my pump back in my car. Nobody cares that I am a new mother, or that i am lactating. I get selected for a long trial. I'm unable to pump as needed. I become engorged. I experience severe pain. Then I dry up. (Yes, I really got that dramatic and I actually shed a few tears at the idea).

All that on top of the thought of possibly not seeing Trent when I normally would really ruined my day. Sure, the chance of being selected as a juror in a case lasting longer than a day is very low, but it does happens!! I know a girl...

So after a day of panicking and worrying I decided to call the phone number on the summons that you are supposed to call if you have any questions. I literally expected the operator to laugh at me when I told her I was a breastfeeding mother. To my surprise all she said was that I needed to get a letter from my Dr stating that I was breastfeeding and mail it into them. Easy Peasy. I called my OB, half expecting them to laugh at me as well - and honestly I got impression I may have been the first person to ask for such a note - but they wrote it for me none the less. After several days I called the courthouse again to see if they accepted my "request for postponement" (unfortunately breastfeeding does not clear me from jury duty for a couple years - it simply postpones me a couple months) and sure enough, they did! The operator informed me that my new jury duty date would be 3 months later.

Last night I went home to my new jury duty summons ::insert sad/disappointed face here:: Part of me wants to just go to court on my scheduled day and do my civic duty and be done with it. Again, I probably wouldn't get picked , right? I'm sure when I first arrive they will ask me if there's any reason I wouldn't be able to serve jury duty, and I could tell them then that I breastfeed/pump. But what if they don't care and pick me anyway? WHAT IF I get selected? What if it turns into a long trial and I get SECLUDED??!?!?!?!?! eeek.

I'd hate to have to get another note from my doctor, but Id hate it more if my breast feeding was effected in any way if all I had to do was get a measly note from my Dr.

I am given 3 days to mail my request for postponement into the court if thats the route i decide to take. I have 2 days left to make a decision. what to do, what to do

roller-strolling

roller-strolling is the term used to describe the act of rollerblading while pushing a jogging stroller. In my blog yesterday I mentioned that I would like to possibly get some inline skates (aka Rollerblades) and skate around while pushing Trent in his stroller. I really think I would enjoy doing that - more so than jogging/running with him (as i said, I'm not much of a runner). When the idea first came to me it was accompanied by the question "is that safe?". My gut told me its not more dangerous than anything else (within reason of course) but I decided to do a little search on the net, just to see what others had to say - maybe there's some obvious danger that just didn't come to mind right away.

I immediately found this thread, which was exactly what I was looking for. Unfortunately, the results were very mixed. I was kinda hoping for a clear cut yes or no. The biggest concern is that the skater falls the stroller will either keep going forward, or (if you use the attached tether strap) the skater could cause the stroller to fall/flip. Of course this could also happen to someone jogging with a stroller. Not all joggers keep both hands on the handle, so if they were to fall the stroller could continue forward, etc etc. Another argument against roller-strolling is that the skater can gain speed without realizing it, causing (a.) the stroller to go faster than it's designed to go, causing it be too unstable and (b.) increased damage if the stroller took a spill.

Others argue that if the skater is experienced, in a low-traffic area, and on even pavement there's little chance of an accident, therefore it's fine to roller-stroll.

Most would agree that the child should wear the same protective gear as the adult (i.e. a helmet). Even though I personally think that's a bit excessive I would probably err on the side of caution and put one on him....assuming, of course, if they even make helmets that small?!?!

What's your take on roller-strolling? Would I be an irresponsible parent if I took my poor defenseless baby out to roller-stroll? Or am i being an nervous pervous who is putting way too much thought into this? Please give your opinions.

My first Mother's Day

Mother's day for me started on Friday evening. Kevin decided he wanted to take his Grandmom and myself out to a nice Mother's Day dinner. We didn't have to wait to be seated (which I'm sure wouldn't have been the case had we gone out tonight) and the food was absolutely delicious.

On Saturday morning Kevin held the fork down while I went to the gym and got a good workout. Later, I was cleaning the kitchen when I heard Kevin talking to someone. At first I thought he was just talking to Trent but when I entered the living room I saw the UPS man walking away and Kevin holding a box from 1800flowers!! Trent (via Kevin) got me flowers for Mother's Day!!! Beautiful tulips

Now here we are on Mother's Day. Kevin let me sleep in this morning then he got me breakfast. He woke up a couple hours before me and got started on my mother's day present....our powder room. I don't know if any of you can recall what our bathroom looked like before, but it was covered in gaudy gold wallpaper and had an ugly vanity sink and a beige toilet. In all honesty, the wallpaper wasn't all that bad (good enough for us to leave it up for almost a year), just not our style. Well, a few weeks ago I started to remove the wallpaper and think about paint colors and design ideas. I was going to go with a nice bright green color but decided against it since I already have so much green paint upstairs (apparently I'm really into green right now). Eventually I decided (and Kevin agreed) that a dark grey paint with white accents would look nice. Last night we made an unexpected stop by Lowes and ended up getting paint, a new toilet, a new sink, and a cabinet for above the toilet. We also got 10% off our total which was a nice little bonus - cha ching!

Kevin hates to paint(!!!) so the fact that he painted the ceiling, walls, trim & door really says something. Basically everything in the room is now new except the light fixture - we liked it so much we decided to keep it....unfortunately though, when I was removing the wallpaper (weeks ago) I managed to break one of the globe thingys, so we have to buy new ones. Oh, and the floor is the same old peel-and-stick junk that's been in there. We plan to eventually put nice ceramic tiles in there but I think that's going to be a little project for me to attempt sometime in the future. Unfortunately I don't have any 'before' pictures but here is a 'after....so far'. He's not quite finished, but you get the idea. I'm very pleased! Come to think of it, my Mother's Day actually began last Friday. I got my very first Mother's Day card from Mrs. Woodland, along with a lovely rocking chair for our front porch. There's nothing better than sitting in a rocking chair on a covered porch on a nice day or evening!! (contrary to how it looks, I am not angry or confused - the sun is in my eyes)

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL YOU MOMS OUT THERE

As I mentioned, Alicia had her baby the other day. I got to visit with them a few hours after Jude was born, and again the next day. Yesterday we "snuck" Trent into the postpartum room so he could meet Jude too. I could not get over how small Jude was/is. Not that he was malnourished or underweight by any means, he is actually a very nice size (7lb 8 oz), I just could not believe that Trent was ever that small!!!! It's amazing how quickly 6 months can go by - and how quickly a baby can grow in those short 6 months. Obviously Trent has grown a little quicker than some babies his age (hahaha) but he's still pretty average. Part of me will really miss those first few months, but the rest of me is looking forward to the unknown that is our future.



In just a few months I will begin planning Trent's first birthday party - how crazy is that??? It feels like I just had him



It will be fun to watch Jude and Trent continue to grow and hopefully become good friends.



Here are the 2 proud daddy's with their sons

grey is the new brown

When I was pregnant I found my first ever grey hair. My first thought was, "man, this kid is turning me grey already!" I plucked it, showed Kevin, text'ed my brother to tell him I was going grey, then forgot all about it. A few months later I found another little grey hair in the same area. I am assuming it was the same grey hair since it was in the same spot and it was very short. I plucked it again. It is now back for the 3rd or 4th time. Up until a few weeks ago it was the only grey I'd ever gotten, so really I couldn't complain. Well, a couple weeks ago I had my hair pulled back in a pony when I noticed a kinky silver hair sticking out the side :-(

I always hear parents say their kids turned their hair grey - but now I believe it!!!

Actually, Trent is an amazing baby so I highly doubt it has anything to do with him...not to mention premature greying runs in my family (well....at least one of my relatives).

not the conversation people love to have....

Today I started updating the secondary beneficiary infomation on a few important policies Kevin and I have. We have a couple different life insurance policies, as well as our 401k plans. Both require at least one primary beneficiary with the option for at least one secondary beneficiary. We've always had each other as our primary, and that will continue to be the case, but up until today we had our mothers as the secondary. The proceeds will now pass on to Trent, who will be able to use it for a college education.....or whatever. We will add future children as we have them.

We plan to live very long lives and hope to one day have grandchildren and maybe even great grandchildren of our own, but we have to be realistic. Terrible things happen all the time, and to the best of people. We can't have the It-Will-Never-Happen-To-Me mentality.

Next on the agenda - we need to get a will made.

a day in the life of a pumper

Some of you might wonder how long I plan to breastfeed Trent, but you might not want to ask. Some of you probably had no idea I am breastfeeding at all. Others might wonder how working full time and breastfeeding is possible. If you're curious, keep reading. If you really don't care, skip this entry :-)

On breast pumps: Let me start by saying that most working moms require a breast pump if they want to continue breastfeeding. There are many different manufacturers, styles, etc. Most full-time working moms need an electric pump. A manual pump requires more of your time, so its good for SAHM (stay at home moms) and maybe part-timers. Electric pumps are not cheap! This is the breast pump I own. I was able to combine 3 coupons and get the pump for 40% off!!!! What a steal. Anyways, that's what I lug back and forth to work everyday. More on pumping at work later.

On Pumping in general & freezer stashes: When I was on maternity leave I would pump (breast milk) randomly. I'd usually do it before we went out so that I would have a bottle for Trent if he got hungry. Other times I would do it to build a freezer stash. A freezer stash is not something every breastfeeding mother needs, but it comes in handy from time to time. Alot of women build a freezer stash so that they can leave the baby with a sitter for a few hours and not have to rush home to breastfeed. If you have to go on a medication that makes it unsafe to breastfeed, you can dip into your freezer stash and use that milk. Some women have a high milk supply and have to pump just so they are comfortable and pain-free. Rather than dump the milk down the drain, they freeze it. It is also nice to mix thawed breast milk with rice cereal when the time comes. Sometimes I would pump during the day so that Kevin could give Trent a bottle of breast milk in the middle of the night when he woke up (Kevin was a gem!!! He would always let me sleep if I wanted to). Whatever milk I pumped usually got drank, but occasionally I would bag it and put in the freezer. "They" (again, who is they?) also say its good to have a freezer stash for when you return to work...but in reality all you need is 12oz to get through that first day (after that you pump at work and send that milk to daycare the next day).

Towards the end of my maternity leave I hardly pumped at all - I just didn't need to and I didn't want to. At this point I had maybe 50 ounces of frozen breast milk in the freezer. Since I wasn't pumping, if Trent got hungry while we were out and I wasn't comfortable breastfeeding, we'd give him formula. Or if he woke in the middle of the night and I wanted to sleep, Kevin would give him formula. We've never been anti-formula at all (and I hope I'm not coming across as some kind of anti-formula-nipple-nazi). It's much easier to make a quick bottle of formula than to thaw some frozen breast milk under hot water - especially in the middle of the night while holding a screaming baby.

On pumping at work: I pump 3 times a day at work. I pump for 10 minutes during my breaks at 10am & 3pm, and I pump for 20-ish minutes at noon during my lunch break. I thought I'd hate pumping at work and dread it everyday, but it really doesn't bother me much. Sometimes its like a game to see if I can pump more today than I did yesterday. And you have no idea how excited I get what I break my own records (easily amused!). Of course I have those days when I just don't feel like pumping at all, so maybe Ill skip a pump - and that's ok (as mentioned in a in a previous post). At 10:00 I take the pump to my "pump room", connect the bottles to the pump stuff, pump for 10 minutes, clean the pump parts, then put the milk in a cooler and put it in our company fridge. At 12 and 3 I have to get the cooler from the fridge and start the whole process again. After my 3:00 pump I don't bother cleaning the pump parts; I just throw them in a plastic bag and wash them when I get home. I have a few different options when it comes to cleaning my pump parts at work:

- I could wash everything in the lunch room sink with warm soapy water after each pump session (too time consuming and could be embarrassing)
- I could buy 2 more sets of pump parts and just wash all 3 sets at home at night (again, too time consuming)
- I could use special wipes designed for cleaning pump parts (this is what I currently do)
- I could buy a mini fridge and put my pump parts and milk in there after each pump session without having to wash anything during the day (mini fridges are expensive)

The last option would be ideal, as it would save time and money (those wipes aren't cheap), but I really don't want to buy a mini fridge just for breast milk. The wipes method works just fine.


On Storing Breast milk: Breast milk can be stored in a refrigerator for up to a week. Above I mentioned I could put my pump parts in refrigerator between pumping sessions without having to wash them - and that's why. The milk drops that would be left on my pump parts would still be fresh refrigerated milk, so it wouldn't matter if it got mixed in with milk from a few hours later. Am I making sense? I'm not sure how to explain it better.

Breast milk that is frozen in a standard freezer is good for 3-4 months.
I had frozen milk dated back to December - from when I was on maternity leave. Since that milk had to be used by March/April, when I returned to work I would thaw 4 or 8 ounces every night and send 1 or 2 bottles of thawed breast milk to daycare, along with 1 bottle of fresh breast milk. In the beginning, Trent was only eating 12 ounces of milk at daycare....but at work I was pumping double that. There were nights where Id be adding 16 or more ounces to my freezer stash. Not because I wanted to necessarily, but because I certainly wasn't going to pour it down the drain(!!!) so freezing it was my only other option. I ended up putting much more in than I was taking out, so my freezer stash began to grow quickly. By April Trent was eating more at daycare (18 oz) so things have really slowed down...now there are nights where I dont put any milk in the freezer at all. Last night, out of curiosity, I counted how much I have in the freezer. I have just over 238 ounces of frozen breast milk!! The kicker is that I have to use most of it by August at the very latest, or else its trash. One of my biggest fears right now is that we'll have a power outage and all that milk will get ruined!! Once its thawed it can not be refrozen.

To many women, 238 ounces is alot and they would kill for that much - but 238 is nothing compared to some other pumpers. I know mothers who have 500+ ounces in their freezer....I even read about a couple moms who have thousands!!

I should probably mention something else...Before you freeze breast milk you typically pour the milk into a bag that is designed for the freezing of breast milk. Each bag has a spot for you to write the date and the amount of milk in the bag. That's how I know when to use certain bags by - and that's what made it easy to add up all the ounces.

for more on breast milk storage click here

On Breastfeeding Trent: Initially, I planned to breastfeed for 6 months, making my stop-date mid-May. I had no reason for choosing 6 months, I just got that time frame in my head and stuck with it.

When I decide to stop, I won't do it cold-turkey - I'll want to wean. I will start by eliminating one pump session each week. After 3 weeks I will only be breastfeeding in the mornings and in the evenings....I'll eliminate one of those feedings and in place of the breast, Trent will get a bottle (of thawed breast milk until its gone, then formula). Eventually he will been weaned 100% from the breast.

Right now I really don't know when I will stop breastfeeding. I am open to the idea of going past 6 months, and I really cant think of any reason to stop at the 6 month mark, so who knows how long I'll go. The AAFP recommends breastfeeding well beyond a child's first birthday but I don't know that I will. I like the idea of possibly doing it until Trent turns 1, that way I can switch him right over to cows milk (hopefully in a sippy cup) and not have to worry about bottles much (if at all??). But who knows, I might decide before his first birthday that its time to quit...maybe he will bite me and scar me (psychologically and physically) for life. Maybe I will get sick of pumping at work and decide to quit. I don't want to set too high an expectation for myself. Right now I'm just hoping to make to the 6 month mark, then take it day by day. I currently enjoy the convenience of breastfeeding, as well as the bonding time & the health benefits it provides for Trent and myself, so I see no reason to stop right now.

The decision to breastfeed or not is one every mother has to make. There is no right or wrong answer. The decision to stop breastfeeding should be based on whats best for mother and baby. When will I stop? Stay tuned....I'll blog about it.



What am I looking forward to the most about NOT breastfeeding: wearing a normal bra again (with underwire). Not these wire-less things with cups that fold down in the front and offer very little support. Don't even get me started on the woman they chose to model this bra....she's obviously not a mother (haha).

milk bags

if you don't want to read about my breasts, do not continue reading this blog!

i warned you (*ahem* michael, paul, mr woodland *ahem*)

this blog was inspired by a conversation I had with Alicia today. Its about breasts, boobies, ta-tas, fun bags, milk bags, lefty & righty, bosoms, busts, chests, teats, utters, mosquito bites and milk duds.

Let me start by saying I didn't realize how nice my set were until i lost them. they were perky, they were firm, they passed the pencil test, they were dressable, they were great. Of course I had my insecurities about showing "too much" of them (low-cut shirts, bathing suits, etc) but boy do I regret that now.

The only reason I'm OK with talking so highly of myself is because these things are no longer true. Before I got pregnant i would never have said those thing because I honestly didn't realize how good i had it.

Then I got pregnant. Almost immediately my breasts started to grow. with the growth came stretching...and eventually gravity took over. For a while I was still able to pass the pencil test. When i failed the test for the first time I blamed it on my belly sticking out so far - that it effected the tiny space a pencil had to escape. Finally, the day came when I felt the underside of my boobs on my belly. I remember it vividly (it was nighttime, i was in my bedroom, sitting on my bed, watching tv). It was the saddest and grossest moment of my life. I still hate that feeling. I'd rather throw the girls over my shoulders and feel them on my back than feel them on my stomach - it sceeeeves me out, blah!!!! When I would look into the mirror at my pregnant self I felt like one of those women from National Geographic (you know the ones.) All that was missing was a bone through my nose or rings stacked on my neck. All the while I knew my body was that of a pregnant women, and that made it beautiful! (In all honesty I loved my pregnant body and I miss it at times) Now, however....I'm left with droopy, stretched, scarred pancakes where my breasts used to be. Last time I went bra shopping I left the store with an overpriced boulder-holder that i didn't feel comfortable in....but that was the only thing in my size so I had no other options. I'm hoping that since I lost a few more pounds and my milk supply has regulated, I will now be an attainable size and have a few more options when I go shopping this weekend. Occasionally I will pull out my old bras and bathing suits and try them on just to see if maybe this time they will fit....every time i am rudely awakened by the fact that these puppies will never be the same again.

Don't get me started on the gym. How many sports bras does it take???? i mean come on! I had to ask a large-breasted coworker what she does to tame hers when she works out. Her solution: "double bagging".

When it comes right down to it, breasts have a job to do. They're here for the babies and that's whats important. All I can do at this point is have a sense of humor about it and share stories with my female friends who know exactly what I'm talking about (and possibly find a great plastic surgeon). I hope men's balls sag and stretch then they get older so they have a shred of understanding about what we're left with post-baby....but even then its not the same. Nobody cares about old nasty man balls.