balance?

Alicia Stucky asks: With Scarlett being a newborn and Matthew demanding a lot of extra attention since she came home, it can get really tough to balance time between them (not to mention my step-daughter) and housework/other responsibilities (which I expected) -- Was there anything that helped you balance priorities when Claire first came home, and what age with her did you start to notice it getting a little easier? Assuming that it does! Lol

Answer:  ugh.  When I was pregnant, everything I ready (mostly advice from other moms of 2 kids close in age) stressed the importance of spending some quality time with your toddler once daddy came home from work - logic being that you basically spent all day focusing 90% of your attention on the newborn and not giving your toddler the attention he needs (or is used to, in some cases).  I knew we would be taking Trent out of daycare, so I was extra concerned that he would be all screwed up because A, we just brought home competition......screaming competition, and B, because we totally 100% changed his day-to-day routine.  
 
Well, it didn't take me long at all to realize things weren't quite going the way I had prepared myself for them to go.  Even though I had Claire attached to my chest most of the day (either in her carrier or nursing at the teat) I felt like it was HER who wasn't getting the attention she needed.  I didn't have all of the peaceful, quiet, alone time that I had when Trent was a newborn.  And let's be honest, when you have a newborn laying down, doing nothing exciting and demanding no attention (bless her heart), it's easy to direct your attention toward the rowdy toddler in the room.
 
Perhaps I was so worried about screwing up Trent that I unconsciously overcompensated by giving Trent too much of my attention???  He never really lashed out at us, or showed signs of jealousy - and Claire didn't demand an obscene amount of my time which would have otherwise caused me to constantly put Claire ahead of Trent - Trent just continued to be his normal, loving self.  Needless to say, Claire and I had our main bonding time while Trent was napping and sleeping (although I often have to remind myself that it's our "special time" when I'm getting up at 2:30 in the morning after having gone to bed at midnight because I've been up blogging - when will I learn?).

In the beginning, if I wasn't changing a diaper or nursing, I was doing something with, or for, Trent.  The first few weeks were a bit of blur, there was just so much adjusting going on for all of us.  With every month things got easier and easier, partly because I was becoming "practiced" and partly because we were falling into ever-changing routines, but routines nonetheless.  Now that Claire is sitting up on her own (for the most part) I find the kids starting to play together more and more, which makes things even easier for me.  They can entertain each other and I can entertain them together at once.  When we go to the park it's no longer just Trent playing - we push Claire on the swing and we help her down the slide.  When we do other fun things it's not just Trent having fun while Claire sleeps - Claire is actually awake to see what's going on now.
 
I don't know if our situation is "normal" or if I sound like a bad mom who neglected her newborn (I certainly don't feel that way, but I don't know how I came across in this blog entry).
 
Did I answer your question?  I really don't know.  Maybe I just babbled my way through it without being the slightest bit helpful. 
 
I'm basically ignoring the part of your question that had the word housework in it.